He remembered that at such times he had been particularly absentminded, and could not discriminate between objects and persons unless he concentrated special attention upon them. He remembered seeing something in the window marked at sixty copecks. Therefore, if the shop existed and if this object were really in the window, it would prove that he had been able to concentrate his attention on this article at a moment when, as a general rule, his absence of mind would have been too great to admit of any such concentration; in fact, very shortly after he had left the railway station in such a state of agitation. So he walked back looking about him for the shop, and his heart beat with intolerable impatience. Ah! here was the very shop, and there was the article marked 60 cop." "Of course, it's sixty copecks," he thought, and certainly worth no more." This idea amused him and he laughed. But it was a hysterical laugh; he was feeling terribly oppressed. He remembered clearly that just here, standing before this window, he had suddenly turned round, just as earlier in the day he had turned and found the dreadful eyes of Rogojin fixed upon him. Convinced, therefore, that in this respect at all events he had been under no delusion, he left the shop and went on.
"Ideologul şi-a dorit să devină ideolog. Mai întâi al comunismului. Pagini strategic “uitate” dovedesc strădania. Neîncrederea unor foşti tovarăşi de drum ai familiei în tânărul vlăstar şi, mai apoi, naţional-comunismul pretorienilor ideologici ceauşişti au limitat aspiraţiile pretendentului. Academia Ştefan Gheorghiu, pe care astăzi — pe bună dreptate – ideologul o ia în derâdere, a fost un loc inaccesibil aspirantului de acum câteva decenii. Şansa lui de a nu-și vedea visul cu ochii – a deveni ideolog comunist în toată puterea cuvântului — a stat în obtuzitatea unor trepăduși. În felul acesta, pe scara ascensiunii, aspirantul nu a ajuns atunci mai sus de o treaptă nesemnificativă. În vreme ce poetul a continuat să creadă că textele sale pot ajuta chipul comunismului să devină unul uman, aspirantul la statutul de ideolog a fost ajutat să plece – liniştit şi confortabil – din România de alţi comunişti. Unii cu față umană – eurocomuniști de tip Santiago Carillo. Nu știm cât de uman ar fi fost chipul comunismului spaniol, dacă în Spania s-ar fi instaurat dictatura comunistă. Ajuns afară, cel căruia i s-a blocat accesul în elita tinerilor ideologi comuniști români a devenit unul dintre cei mai aprigi şi străluciţi critici ai comunismului românesc. Politolog. A scris pagini remarcabile, în care a demontat mecanismul comunist. Poetul nu a avut idei politice. A avut ideea fixă că omul trebuie să fie în centrul politicii. O asemenea obsesie nu putea face casă bună cu dependenţa poetului faţă de singura idee politică posibilă în acei ani în România, idee care nu avea în centrul ei decât un singur om. Şi acela nu era poetul, ci dictatorul."
Noi, balzacienii, risipiţi prin toată lumea, suntem însă un popor literar nu numai inflexibil în faţa veştilor proaste dar şi foarte tolerant. Ne‑am lăsat mult ironizaţi, bagatelizaţi, minimalizaţi, defăimat ca să nu mai spunem imitaţi. Ce ne pot face nou bietele ironii omeneşti? Cu ce ne pot întuneca viaţa nevolnicele calomnii ale celor muritori? Ni s‑a spus că suntem plicticoşi, schematici, prea realişti, lipsiţi de mister şi de halucinaţie... Am ajuns de râsul lumii literare: "încă un Balzac..." devenise o glumă lejeră la adresa oricărui debutant care‑şi începea istoria în cadenţa noastră nemuritoare: "Într‑una din frumoasele zile ale verii anului 183..., un tânăr elegant trecea pe..
"Sur ce sentiment inconnu dont l'ennui, la douceur m'obsèdent, j'hésite à apposer le nom, le beau nom grave de tristesse. C'est un sentiment si complet, si égoïste que j'en ai presque honte alors que la tristesse m'a toujours paru honorable. Je ne la connaissais pas, elle, mais l'ennui, le regret, plus rarement le remords. Aujourd'hui, quelque chose se replie sur moi comme une soie, énervante et douce, et me sépare des autres." (from Bonjour tristesse)
Gregor then turned to look out the window at the dull weather.
"Six months ago, when Miguel Littín told me in Madrid what he had done, and how he done it, I thought that behind his film was another unmade film, that ran the risk of remaining unpublished.
“If I haven’t a very different answer from you within the next three days I shall put the matter into the hands of my solicitor, whom it may interest you to know I’ve already seen. I shall bring an action for ‘breach’ against you, Herbert Dodd, as sure as my name’s Kate Cookham.”
There it was, straight and strong – yet he felt he could say for himself, when once it had come, or even, already just as it was coming, that it turned on, as if she had moved an electric switch, the very brightest light of his own very reasons. There she was, in all the grossness of her native indelicacy, in all her essential excess of will and destitution of scruple; and it was the woman capable of that ignoble threat who, his sharper sense of her quality having become so quite deterrent, was now making for him a crime of it that he shouldn’t wish to tie himself to her for life.
RU : Let us not speak. [Silence. Exit VI right. Silence.]
FLO : Ru.
RU : Yes.
FLO : What do you think of Vi?
RU : I see little change. [FLO moves to centre seat, whispers in RU's ear. Appalled.] Oh! [They look at each other. FLO puts her finger to her lips,] Does she not realize?
FLO : God grant not. [Enter VI. FLO and RU turn back front, resume pose. VI sits right. Silence.] Just sit together as we used to, in the playground at Miss Wade's.
RU : On the log. [Silence. Exit FLO left. Silence.] Vi.
VI : Yes.
RU: How do you find FLO?
VI : She seems much the same. [RU moves to centre seat, whispers in VI's ear. Appalled.] Oh! [They look at each other. RU puts her finger to her lips.] Has she not been told?
RU : God forbid.
Je continue à dire "chez nous", bien que la maison ne nous appartienne plus. Nous avons quitté le pays depuis bientôt quinze ans et nous n'y reviendrons certainement jamais. Nous habitions les bâtiments du Cour Supérieur de Sainte-Agathe. Mon père, que j'appelais M. Seurel, comme les autres élèves, y dirigeait à la fois le Cours supérieur, où l'on préparait le brevet d'instituteur, et le Cours moyen. Ma mère faisait la petite classe. Une longue maison rouge, avec cinq portes vitrées, sous des vignes vierges, à l'extrémité du bourg; une cour immense avec préaux et buanderie, qui ouvrait en avant sur le village par un grand portail; sur le côté nord, la route où donnait une petite grille et qui menait vers La Gare, à trois kilomètres; au sud et par derrière, des champs, des jardins et des prés qui rejoignaient les faubourgs... tel est le plan sommaire de cette demeure où s'écoulèrent les jours les plus tourmentés et les plus chers de ma vie--demeure d'où partirent et où revinrent se briser, comme des vagues sur un rocher désert, nos aventures.
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